Frequently Asked Questions about
365 Questions To Ask Before You Say “I Do”
How did you come about making this website?
Shortly after I got married I realized that there are a lot of things about my wife that I was totally unaware of. While it is very difficult and impossible at best to know everything about your partner before you get married, it is at least a good idea to have some idea of who it is you are marrying. Please see the page Why Ask Questions? for more answers regarding the birth of this website.
Why are there more than 365 questions?
Upon first creating and listing questions that I had regarding my wife, I expected the list to be rather short. But as time passed, the list kept getting longer. When I initially created this website over 22 years ago, there were really close to 365 questions that I had come up with. And this is how I came up with the name for the site. But after two decades, the field of questions had grown significantly, yet I didn’t want to give up the name. So while the name stayed, the number of questions expanded, as did the number of sections.
The good news is that if you know anything about yourself or your partner, a large number of these questions will be freebies that you already know the answers to. Therefore, if there is absolutely no concern about a particular section or question, then move on to areas of interest. Of course, one could always quickly review such questions for the fun of it, but it should not be at the expense of learning new things about you and your partner.
How do I manage my 365 Questions subscription?
Maintaining your 365 Questions subscription is simple and straightforward. You can easily update your payment information, view your subscription details, and manage your account preferences all from your personalized dashboard. If you ever need assistance, our friendly customer support team (at [email protected]) is here to help ensure your 365 Questions experience is seamless and enjoyable.
What is the best way to approach this exercise?
Think of this as a way to get to know yourself and your partner. Enjoy it! Have fun with it. While most of the questions are plain and benign, it’s still important to know these things about yourself and your partner. By the same token, there are some very important and serious topics included in this exercise. These areas are there to address your more mentally and emotionally developed side and to get beyond the mundane and simple aspects of life. Remember, it is often the misunderstandings regarding the important issues in a relationship that cause the most strife. Being aware that such issues are likely best addressed sooner rather than later and done with intent. Use this exercise to help learn about yourself and your partner in the most positive way possible.
Are there any “Don’t s” for this exercise?
Don’t weaponize this exercise.
Don’t engage in it under duress.
Don’t ask the questions in any manner other than in a positive and supportive manner.
Don’t become defensive or upset at how your partner may(or may not) answer a question.
Don’t get stuck on one section. If you find yourself getting stuck on any particular set of questions, try mixing it up and going to more fun or less intense questions. But please keep in mind that if a specific section of questions are difficult to answer or are deemed to be too sensitive, please look into why these questions are so emotionally charged and determine if this needs to be looked more closely into at some point in your journey.
Don’t ignore it if you both find a particular section or any particular sections difficult to approach. Try to figure out why this is.
Don’t make light or fun of a response unless you are 100% certain that your partner clearly understands that you are not trying to make them feel bad or uncomfortable.
Don’t be afraid to let your partner know that certain questions or sections will be sensitive for you.
Don’t feel that you have to answer every question immediately. Some questions may take some time and thought before giving an answer.
The list of Don’t s doesn’t stop here. As we learn of more Don’t s (especially from members), we will add them to the list and will likely end up having to create a whole different “Do” and “Don’t” section.
How do I use this exercise if I don’t have a partner?
The purpose of this exercise is to learn as much as you can about yourself and your potential partner before committing to a life together. Thus, the questions can be used to find out where you stand and how you feel regarding issues that are important to you and to know what to ask your partner regarding what is important to them.
The questions are also helpful in guiding you in the most accurate direction when learning about a potential partner. It allows you to target the issues, qualities, and desires of this “person of interest” logically. Once a relationship has been established, the less heavy and critical topics can be mixed in with topics that are there to help you know your partner better and deeper.
What if I’m already married or engaged?
It’s never too late to stop asking questions about your partner or yourself, especially if you don’t know the answers to any of the questions. While a follow-up “365 Questions To Ask AFTER You’ve Said I Do” is in the works, this exercise will suffice for now. The questions are still helpful and meaningful even if you are married.
What if I don’t want to answer a question or what if I don’t want to be asked a question?
While all the questions are intended to establish a trusted and honest relationship and interaction with each other, it would be misleading to say that none of the questions in these lists are intimidating, personal, thought-provoking, or outright sensitive. In forging strong relationship bonds, there will be times when difficult questions will be asked.
The most important factors in facing such questions are how the questions are presented, what the intent of the questions are, the tone in which the questions are asked, and understanding that you may not have an answer or don’t feel comfortable discussing the matter at that time. It is so important to respect your partner‘s comfort level in being asked and answering any question.
Save for (or in addition to) question(s) being “deal-breakers” in nature, such questions may warrant being discussed in a therapeutic setting and with a very clear understanding of the gravity of the impact of these questions on your relationship.
What if I feel a particular question is too sensitive to address?
Even sensitive questions deserve a response of some sort. It may require that the question be restated or clarified or allowed to be answered in a qualified manner. While each of these questions are intended to be presented in a positive light, some are just difficult at best. Please keep this in mind and please be respectful when asking or being asked a question.
What if my partner doesn’t want to answer a question?
Any one or more particular sections or questions may be sensitive topics for your partner. Your partner may feel that answering such a question in the negative or in an unacceptable manner may be or become a deal-breaker for the relationship. While you want your partner to be forthright in answering questions, forcing them to give an answer won’t instill trust or build faith in the relationship. Please agree, ahead of time if possible, on how sensitive questions will be managed.
Do I have to ask all of the questions?
Though it’s a good idea to determine if you know the answers to even the most benign questions, it is probably best to at least review all of the sections and questions and take the liberty (AS A COUPLE IF YOU HAVE A PARTNER) to bypass or spend as little time as possible on well-covered and well-known areas or topics.
What happens if I feel a question should be added to the list?
Submit it as a suggestion (Member’s Suggestion Page or the Contact Us Page) and if deemed appropriate, it will be considered for placement on the list. Remember, this is not meant to be an all-inclusive list, but rather, a springboard to a lifetime of questions (members will be notified when new questions are added to the list).
Can I search for questions regarding particular topics?
The Control+f function may allow you to search for keywords, but it is recommended that you review each section to see if the areas you are searching for is contained within a particular section. If you are not able to find a certain question that you feel should be on the list, please do two things: please do not let this keep you from asking your partner the question and please submit the question (Member’s Suggestion Page) for being considered as a future entry (members will be notified when new questions are added to the list).
May I share these questions with anyone else?
Well, yes you may. If you wish to create a group activity using these questions, this is strongly encouraged. However, the site is best utilized when one has access to all the content on the site. Thus, you are encouraged to share the website with others and allow them to consider becoming a member.
If you have any questions regarding this exercises, we can be reached at [email protected].